You need to want it more...
So many things go through my mind at this moment. People, lies, trust, life goals, love.
Every single day as I watch a movie or something I see on the street, just fires a light in my head.... something in that day- at the end of it - makes sense. Like every day has a purpose.
My birthday was a few days ago, I'm getting older, but I like what I see. Cause the older I get, life makes more sense... and with time you start not to search for the purpose of life, but how to live it.
The only way I see worth living it for women is with elegance and grace, for men with respect and manhood, masculinity (strange words, I'm not sure which describes best a man as a real man, not just the gender).I see two types of people: intelligent enough as from one point to wake up and realize that being good will actually do you good, if you TRULY believe in yourself and the things you do, and the kinds that are simple pessimists.. they give up and blame others or bad luck.
I like to observe people. And some give huge inspiration... because I saw people with problems and blaming luck, blaming God, blaming life for their problems and they get stuck, they lose power to overcome their problems. But these people should look at those, who having an actual disaster happened to them (handicapped people playing sports or using their misfortune and creating something beautiful , that even many of us cannot).
And it's nice that you can see how to be a good person, even if your parents never taught you, you can get a book or look it up on the internet and you can learn.
....the point is you can learn anything nowadays. You just have to want it and want it more... because not everyone is born with ambition and curiosity, but everyone is born with a brain, so you can try to use it and make the best you can of it.
It's interesting when you're young, you talk of love (there are always exceptions in everything) like it's "not in fashion", like "let's drink, party, smoke and fly, I'm too young for that."
When you get older, you start to express that maybe it would be good to have someone beside you... but then you remember that you can't really trust someone, cause you've got hurt before.
And sometimes what hurts is that you remember that besides all the partying and flying, love was there once or twice and that was the highest you flew, not some crack you smoked. And most of the times it's too late to try to bring back what you had in youth or the timing was off. Because timing is everything.. in what phase of your life you are when you meet a person, that defines most of what could be.

Lies.. I never understood the point of it. I understand that sometimes we are silent, we shut up, cause we don't want to hurt the person, but sometimes that person deserves to know the truth, cause with your silence you are changing that person's life, (s)he can't make a choice of its own.
Sometimes people lie because they are afraid of showing themselves, which I think is the stupidest thing. When someone likes you, the person likes you for your PERSONALITY. Even though people are all the same, we each have an individual personality with dozens of ways and "tools" to improve it and personalize it. Still people try to be like everyone else to be accepted by certain groups of people, when the beauty of you is being who you are, not who you're trying to imitate.

Me, for example, I write cause I like to think that there are people who actually agree with my thoughts or that a younger person reads it, (s)he might actually learn something good or at least be given an idea of something good.
But many may not agree or might criticize... that's the beauty of the world, we don't have to agree on everything and that still could lead to good things.
I watched Paper Heart..interesting documentary, but one quote captured my attention:

"Life is too short to be wondering "what if?" LIVE !!! See what happens... even if you get hurt, sometimes you can only feel something if you take a risk!"
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