Hey, Happy New Year!
This year started interesting..
I was far from the city, nice people, almost perfect!
But the one that was missing...well afterwards things became better than I expected. :)
Today I was at a funeral yet again! And people started to think for a few minutes what their lives worth, they start to promise themselves what things they are going to change in their lives, things they wanted but the daily routine, or just time erased from their memories.
I didn't feel the need to do that, because at the last funeral I promised myself that I will live my life one day at a time, of course, thinking of my future by pursuing a career, but otherwise there is no need to try so hard for things, because maybe something better is planned for me.
I started the year happy, things went on even better. 8->
Today I looked at a loooot of older photos, memories :)
And I'm happy cause there isn't a single moment, a single photo that I would take back or regret!
It's so strange when the process of maturing for a teenager crosses the path of a hard break-up. It feels like you mature two times faster than normal.
And the only thing I hate is that nobody told me then what I know now, the path I was supposed to go on, all those times that I've hurt people and when they hurt me.
And how easily we could have avoided that.
The worst is when love can put you through Hell... and you're still choosing Hell than losing the person.. and it's Hell cause you just don't know the rules of the game of love, until you learn it the hard way.
I've hurt someone without wanting to...though he gave only the best of him! I was scared..scared to feel, scared of something well...perfect! Without any doubt it would have been! And I was also scared to tell him how sorry I was.. That August is unforgettable and I learned to dance much better! :)

Anyway..the funny part is that girls say guys are assholes and guys say all the girls are bitches. Such a stupid thing to say. And the basic feeling is pain, just that it's easier to blame others than look deep inside and be honest with ourselves. Cause that would hurt more.
We are animals, the only difference is that some humans have the ability to control their basic instincts by using their brains, and most humans don't have the ability control their basic instincts any better than animals.
We have the ability to empathize (understand other people) and to do more complex things e.g. mathematics, writing, poetry, science.
We were given the strange sentiment of love, to fall in love (rarely with the person we choose). Because as I see that's the only thing that no priests or scientists could give a reasonable explanation to, but still is wanted the most. ( o.k. beside sex..but that would normally come after love and it's biologically explainable why people need it.)

I had a question always..what is better? To be a child or an adult? I choose young adult!
This is the time when you still have the energy to risk enough but also the wisdom to stop before doing something crazy. It's the best time in life!
I don't have a subject this time, just thoughts and of course listening to music always makes new questions, ideas pop in.
I really like this picture though. Today an artist died! A painter, more precisely. A family friend.
I like it, because it's Art. And the best in art is that every person sees something else in one picture ( or we can all hear a piece of music differently).
When people saw this, a girl asked me "is your heart broken? such a sad picture." Then someone else looked at it and was happy because well.. finally that ice is melting :D, he said. One picture, many thoughts.
Some say it's sad, some say it's sweet.
I like it because it's both ways. If there is enough warmth, enough love given then the ice will melt, but otherwise it might freeze back as well. The world is a cold place, there is more pain than love if we start asking people, that's why it has a bigger chance to freeze, but those who have the strength and will to make it, will do it. It's also all about belief, what you believe in.
And this brings me to another subject.

Belief -"is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true." and even truth is always somewhere in the middle between two parts, as they say.
So everything in the world is relative and nothing is guaranteed.
That's why I don't understand prejudice. How can you judge someone without even knowing a thing about that person's life or thoughts?! And even if you know things that doesn't mean that
you know the person. What makes some people think that they are better than others?
Because there is a huge difference between respecting or looking up to someone who achieved things in life and just feeling "cool" or "awesome" cause we were born with more and showing it off.
Belief.. how easy to lose it..one wrong action and it's gone. To build it from scratch in some cases - impossible.
I believe in second chances. We're not perfect to have it always right, we make mistakes. Of course some mistakes are unforgivable. But there isn't a third time. That's just dumb.
Life becomes crazy if we start to think too much. If we expect too much of ourselves. We should have expectations, naturally, but we should always know when to stop and take a break and when to say it's time to do this. And you're always stronger than you think!
Life become simple by saying: I wanna be like this, do that... I'm doing my BEST to be like this, doing that.. and I enjoy my life as much as I can.