It's been almost a year since my last post. I never wanted to write again, but why not to change? I was right about this year. I was different, indeed. The only problem was that it wasn't different in a good way. I thought this year I will not worry so much about consequences, that I can be one of those people who act upon their feelings and just ..have fun. Well, maybe it works for some, but not for me. Cause this year, I met a lot of new people, made friendships, but I didn't give much thought of what would really be good for me... cause "I should just enjoy myself" - I thought.
The only reason I'm writing again, it's because although people are so wise, and you can read about everything on the internet, I still feel people don't get enough information. Maybe they just don't look.
The other reason is, because someone feel in love with my words :-)
This year was "dating" year. :))) Meeting boys for tea, invitations for ice creams... just nice time spending. At least..this is how it all began. It's no shame to say, this year I got really hurt and not only once. I had to leave behind people I never wanted to let go of. And that made me think of human relationships.
I got myself together as fast as I could, and the only way I could do that was because of the right advices and right kind of information.
I love my girlfriends.. :) they are the best in the world, they give the best advice, but sometimes that is not enough. I always said that the most important things aren't taught in school.
The older I get, the wiser (I hope :DA
So how do we make a relationship? More and more people are alone, single. They think it's fun, they make fun of couples, cause there are soooo many possibilities being single. Yes, there are! :)
But non of those will ever care for you honestly. Non of those will stay alongside your bed, when you're sick or down. And most importantly...I think being single kills feelings.
I know, cause I've been there. It kills every emotion and you forget how it feels to be in love.
You forget what butterflies mean. I forgot them so deep that thought I got so old that I cannot feel such thing again.
Relationships, I think, are indeed, very important decisions. If you are not ready, it's better not to get into. But it isn't hard to get yourself there. The first very important thing I've learned, is Me.
You have to know Yourself completely with your good and bad sides.
This doesn't mean you are selfish, because a relationship can fail exactly because you become obsessed with your partner. How is (s)he? What does (s)he like? What is (s)he thinking? What does (s)he want? Will I lose him/her if I do this and that?!
A human being can evolve by understanding that it doesn't matter what the partner is thinking, hoping or asking. The only thing that matters is who YOU are, while relating to these things.
Can you accept that man/ woman with his faults and values?!
Many of us look for a partner to make their suffering easier, to escape depression or loneliness. They want to be loved, they need a boost of Ego or they just need sexual relief.
These are things we all have to resolve in Ourselves. Asking for a partner to heal your wounds won't make a relationship last. You have to give yourself the self love you need, you need to let go of depression. You have to make your own persona. It is nice to have someone next to you, but you can't expect for him/she to make the change you need in your life for you.
It is very romantic to say "I was nothing before her/him." That is not true. Everything lies deep within you.
In chemistry 'catalysts' are reactors that fasten a chemical reaction, but they don't get consumed in the reaction itself.
I think of a partner like this. A partner can be a catalyst. (S)he can help you fasten your healing reaction, but it cannot resolve it for you.
We are not perfect. But individually the most important is to try to give the most we can, to show our feelings so that the other will feel appreciated. And to present our real selves.
Probably one of the hardest things to do, to be yourself with a partner. But it's a compromise on both sides. You have to show your real self and the other has to be receptive and analyze it, if (s)he can deal with this on the long term or not. And only accept the person, if (S)he accepts him with the good and bad.
For this you have to know yourself first, cause then you can be sure that you can accept him/she fully.
Give time to each other, cause change is hard and it won't be a day or two.
But I changed immensely these last years and if someone believes you can do absolutely anything with yourself, if you honestly made clear to yourself that you WANT to, then everything is possible to change or to give yourself better qualities!
And for the end... it's Christmas time :) Probably the loveliest holiday of all. :)
Until last year.. I liked it, but that whole Christmas spirit thing was quite far for me.
Until someone I actually got to hate, because of his horrible past actions, decided to ask forgiveness on Christmas. I held in me a lot of anger, but last Christmas I felt that joy and spirit that made me be open and to forgive.
Try to let go of resentments, forgive those who hurt you, cause we all change. And we all can be better. Let go of negative feelings. :) End the year with joy and happiness. (If not for anything else: negative feelings build up stress, anxiety and develop sickness)
Merry Christmas to Everyone !!!
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I hope you don`t get hurt anymore! :)
Merry Chrystmas!
PZ :)
*Christmas :)